somebodyelsethanyou_987

I don't even remember when was the last time I truly laughed, but I mean truly. Nowadays I force myself to, even if im alone. When did I become so miserable???

I'm never fully where I am, when I'm talking to someone I'm always far away, thinking about other things, thinking about the future, I'm never truly in the moment. Even if I'm thinking about the conversation, I always think about what I'm going to say in a few seconds instead of living in the moment.

Sometimes I wish I was more present, this days my life feel like I'm watching someone else's life trough a TV instead of knowing it's my life.

Even sometimes I have to make myself aware that this is my life, because it's amazing how much I go into autopilot.

Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself or anything like that. I just wanted to rant about my perfect life, with a house, food, water, computer and a loving family, which I somehow, managed to make miserable.

I really hate myself, this is my fault, I don't know what I did, but this is defenitly my fault. I don't even think someone will read this. Plus, I'm supposed to be studying.

I still nedeed to rant.

I have hopes that the pain we feel today is just a way to make us more greatfull for the peace of tomorrow.

Have a nice day.